Ramblings

June 25th, 2008» Not so noble after all

- 2:45 pm

Why should I be responsible for causing a change you decided upon yourself? Especially when you talked about having learnt to be responsible for the exact same thing.

I shut myself from you because I do not appreciate you to probe into certain aspects of my life. Yes, you can deny the actual probing-into-my-life thing. But what you can’t denied is that you had, more than once, asked too much that makes me very uncomfortable. It would be fine if you could stop there. Nevertheless, you sometimes insisted upon it even though I’ve make it clear that I do not want to share it with you.

Who are you to talk about deceptions? It became all too apparent that you approached me too many times with hidden agendas. I’ve been perfectly transparent to you about things that actually matters until I realised all these scheming-behind-my-back going on. And then, I realised you judged me as explicitly as I express my thoughts to you. You even conveniently and completely misunderstood my intentions thinking all I wanted is to get things to go my way.

I do not know if you realised by now it’s not your help that I really wanted. You keep insisting on emotional help that I do not need because you do not understand what I’m going through and you occasionally insisted on tangible needs that I had to reject stubbornly even if it might be a great relief to me.

Leave it at that and perhaps we can still smile and greet each other when our paths cross.

1 Comment

November 11th, 2007» Been there, done that

- 11:59 pm

Alright, I do feel like an idiot. Congrats on making me the biggest idiot of the century. I can’t say much for others. But for you, I daresay I’ve done quite a lot of things in your favor. You probably don’t see it because those aren’t meant for you to see. Nevertheless, it’s purely trust that I placed on you that I insisted against even the very strong opinions of my own fellow comm members. I honestly didn’t expect anything in return. Well, I obviously didn’t see that coming either.

Anyway, think of me whatever you wish. Spare the conductor of your insults. I’m sure Mr Tan got all the wisdom not to get affected by what you said but it’s a great injustice done to him afterall.

And, sorry to disappoint you (or whoever is reading this) because I’m not going to go on about who’s more mature and such. You’ve made your decision, I respect that, so please move on.

I will change, definitely. Not for your sake obviously. Not even for TPBand’s sake. It’s for myself. Just that the “better me” isn’t going to be what you have in mind, I’m quite sure.

On behalf of your friends who are still in band (who are my band members too) and the band, I thank you for your well-wishing. I’ll take it that it’s sincere and free of sarcasm.

I wish you all the best too.

3 Comments