April 11th, 2006» One Year Older

- 10:55 pm

Right, I’m eighteen already. Woah!

I just came back from my mum and mine birthday dinner. Why my mum too? This is because both my mum and I shares the same birthdate. Amazing isn’t it?

To my mum:
“I know you won’t see this piece of message and neither will you hear it, because I’m shy, coming from my mouth but I sincerely wish you a very happy birthday.”

Anyway, the dinner was fabulous! I think I’ve put on atleast 2 more kilogrammes after that heavy meal. It really makes me wonder why all my birthday presents are edible. No wonder I’m overweight! (More excuses)

During the dinner, I received a lot of SMSes wishing me happy birthday. They keep coming in while I’m having my dinner (wow, my friends sure have great timing). Hence for my short and sweet, and unoriginal, replies. *hehe*

So, I would like to thanks all of you who had wished me happy birthday, once again. I really appreciate them a lot!

March 3rd, 2006» Another Funeral

- 4:09 pm

I shall quote a sentence from the book, “How We Die” by Sherman B. Nuland. It says “Many poets, essayists, chroniclers, wags, and wise men write often about death but have rarely seen it.”

Well I havn’t witness death. Nevertheless, in a short span of less than 3 months, I’ve been to 2 funerals this year. The first was of my cousin, whom I’m closer to, who passed away after lying unconsciously in hospital for months due to some heart illness she had all along. The latter was of my fifth aunt’s husband, whom I was only told that he commited suicide.

Till today, I can still distinctly remember the first ever funeral I’ve been to, my grandmother’s in Malaysia, eventhough I was still very young(probably around 5 or 6 years old). I was crying badly despite the funeral being the only memory I had of my grandmother. My mother was tearing too. And, I remember trying to cheer my mother up while being overwhelmed by tears myself. Honestly, I had no idea why I was so upset then as I was never even closed to my grandmother. Perhaps, it’s the intensive mournful atmosphere that made me cried.

So, as I was saying, I was at the funeral of my fifth aunt’s husband just yesterday. It’s very different from my cousin’s. Everything was very solemn as it’s a christian funeral and I do feel rather uncomfortable to be there. I hope all would be fine for my aunt’s family soon.

By the way, while I’m there, I saw one of the maths tutors from my school at the funeral too. Soon, I found out that he knows my cousin. I did not greet him as he probably wouldn’t recognise me anyway.

February 19th, 2006» Restricted Comfort

- 7:20 pm

I really hate having to work under the watchful eyes of people. I don’t feel comfortable, at all, doing my tutorials or studying when others are present. That’s one reason I was against renting out the room.

For several months, I’ve been doing my assignments in the living room because I no longer have my own room. My father now sleeps in the room that was once mine. However, the living room now is also often occupied by the tenants to watch the television show. I often ended up doing my tutorial, at around 9pm, when they sleep.

This has been bothering me for as long as the tenants first moved in. Nevertheless, I couldn’t bring myself to share my thoughts with any of my family members yet as they would think I’m procrastinating anyway. I had several disagreements with my mother over the room before as well. I couldn’t believe my parents would take away my room and have not taken my needs into considerations at all. And now, they just left me with absolutely no private space in the house.

Argh. I really need some place to study and do my work. I also need some space where I know I can be left alone at times.

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